Imagine you get to the end of your life and you are going through the famous last 7 seconds. Every memory, every poor or good choice, every smell, every taste all comes flooding back to you in 7 seconds. Would you be happy with the life that was shown before you? Was it full of memories of you laughing, sitting in the sun for 10 minutes a day, reading a book because you want to, and other small and fulfilling moments. Or was it full of memories of hatred, self doubt, spending hours working for a corporate company that is making millions of dollars off of your work, while you get paid minimum wage. This is a reminder that every second that you are breathing you get to chose. The raise may make you be able to afford more, but what comes along with the raise may be more hours and less of those little moments. This is not me telling you to quit your job and be irresponsible but instead reminding you that the things you place you worth in shape your happiness. If you rely on money to make you happy you will never be satisfied. Same as if you rely on anyone outside of yourself to make you happy, you will never achieve that.
This may not come as a surprise to you but no one in the world truly knows you. Everyone has a slightly different perspective of you that is skewed by their shared experiences with you, their own personal values, and the state of mind that they are in. For this reason, measuring yourself by others opinions of you are never going to be fulfilling. Further than this your state of mind and perception of yourself is based on so many factors as well. If you chose to measure your success by how many movies you have been in, then you will always feel like a failure compared to Nicolas Cage. Although your life may be filled with lots of loved ones, laughter and food, you will never feel fulfilled or truly happy because you have created an ideal for your life that you cannot or have not achieved. However, if you chose to measure your success by how much you can laugh in life, you will both live a life full of laughter and feel satisfied. This being said, if your goal was to make a million dollars and you did that, but you never laughed a day in your life, you would look back at your life and would not feel fulfilled. It is important to remember that what we want and are aiming for in life may not be what we truly desire but what society has told us to desire. It all starts in your mind and the perspective that you have.
If you are feeling unhappy and stuck in life, it is time to look at what you are relying on to make you happy. Understanding our thought patterns and deep rooted thoughts is crucial to this. I have a friend that is a people pleaser, she feels validated when others are satisfied with her work. The problem with this is that not everyone will be satisfied with every single thing she does or says. Being a people pleaser is very common, but it is a life full of misery. People pleasers are relying on others happiness to make them happy. The same way maybe an insecure partner would rely on their partner to make them happy. One night the partner gets stuck in traffic on the way to meet their girlfriend and the insecure girlfriend feels let down by the partner. After that the relationship goes south and never comes back. Then the insecure partner has more baggage to add onto the reason they are insecure and the cycle never ends. Both of these situations are applicable to almost any kind of thing you may rely on to make yourself happy outside of yourself. If you rely on anything outside of yourself to make you happy you will always be let down and never live in happiness.
The true secret to happiness is finding the little moments in your life that makes you happy. Whether that be taking a bath every once in a while, or picking flowers, or playing paintball, whatever it is… you need to find happiness and contentment in yourself before you can ever make anyone else happy. That’s a conversation for another time but if you ever want to feel pure happiness, it is time to start looking at what your mind places values on. Then you need to dig and find where that comes from to move forward. You are not stuck in the corporate ladder, you are one step off the ground, and if you look to the left and right of you, there a million other staircases. If you want to change, do it. Stop making excuses for yourself. Dream big, but understand where those dreams come from. Understanding where a dream come from gives you passion, which gives you success. If you are doing what society told you to do or what you dreamed about when you were 8 but actually learned to hate it, then stop. There is always a way. You can be homeless and happy, it all just depends on how you measure your life. Live for the little moments to ensure that you live a happy life. Imagine that you were watching your life in the seven seconds but this time you can fix the mistakes that you made, whether that’s sitting down for a family meal, or stopping on your way to work to smell the flowers. Don’t forget to make your own life happy, because its no ones responsibility but your own.
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